Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Our Birthday!


Well, today is my Grandma's Birthday, as well as mine. I had previously written something short and sweet, but thought I should pay my respects more so to my Grandma. This is the first year in my entire life that I have not been able to celebrate my birthday with my Grandma. This picture is actually from last year's birthday so it's a little dated. I really miss my Grandma, but she has been gone for quite some time now. She has had dementia for the past few years and doesn't really communicate or seem to notice much anymore. I am forever greatful for the times that we've shared. I will always hold them close to my heart.
My Grandma was a special woman who loved/loves her family very much, despite all of our imperfections. She wasn't perfect and I appreciate her for not being. I have learned a lot from her struggles with memory loss as well as other things. Today is her special day and I am sorry that I can't be there for her, but I know that she would rather me hold on to the memories of her when she was herself, not the way she is now. I am thankful to the good Lord that I have been blessed by all of my grandparents. And I am also thankful for the lessons I've learned from all of them, you know things to cherish, things that aren't so significant. Though my little Grandma doesn't realize anymore that I'm her favorite (yes, I gave myself that title), I know she loves me, I can still hold dear our times that we've shared. From dreams for each other; I always tried to get her to marry Pat Morita, and she always wanted me to move to Japan and study, to some cherished conversations just the two of us. I'll never forget her getting electricuted and me telling her to do it again, since it was SO funny (she didn't think it was funny). Listening to her talk Japanese and always trying to figure out what she was talking about. Watching Japanese movies while she played with my hair to put me to sleep. I will cherish those memories and hold onto them, since that person is no longer with us in spirit. I am comforted in the fact that she loved Jesus and will be with Him whenever this trial is over. I am thankful for the past 30 birthdays before this one when I got to be with her. I love you Grandma and I miss you terribly, but I am thankful for all the time we've had together, and I know you're not gone completely, but I also know that you don't remember me much anymore, and I am sorry for that. But I am forever greatful for the times we had and the love you shared with me. This has help me put a lot of things into perspective in my own life, to cherish my kids, my husband, the rest of my family, because you never know when it will be over, or when you won't be able to remember anymore. I love you Grandma, and Happy Birthday to you. I miss you.



Saturday, March 6, 2010

Things are finally starting to settle...

I hate that I haven't blogged in so long, it's such a good release, but life has been crazy! And honestly every time I'd come to start a blog I would get sad, since my last blog was that of us in the beginning stages of adoption. Well, it looks as though the good Lord had something else planned for us right now. For those who don't already know, we have moved to Texas!

I can't explain the sadness that I felt not being able to complete the adoption process, but I believe the Lord has something else planned for us right now...maybe I was doing things like I normally tend to do, in Cheryl's time, instead of His time! Why I do that I have no idea, but I do know that since we've moved life has been really good. I don't know if we were just in need of change, or what exactly, but life is really good. My husband and I are getting along great. The girls are growing and Ella's potty trained (PTL!). Of course we miss our families, friends, and different things, but it seems as though we're supposed to be here. I can't explain it. I don't know what He has in store, but I can assure you I'm looking forward to it!

I can say one thing for sure, though, I love this weather so far!! It's so much warmer , I can see the sun! Woo Hoo!! We decided to move into an apartment to get to know the area better before we just jump in and buy a house. Mainly my concern, since I haven't completely made up my mind about how long I plan on homeschooling. So we wanted to get to know the area and people, about the schools, etc.

I just have to say I am amazed by this whole journey that the good Lord has put us on. I believe He has a purpose in bringing us down here, not exactly sure what that is yet, but I believe it could be something great!! I have a ton of stuff I could write about, but mainly wanted to give an update. The adoption is on hold...for now. We shall see where this journey takes us!