Our First Homestudy Meeting

Well over the weekend, Josh, Ella and myself ventured to Owensboro to have our first homestudy meeting with our really nice lady, Maria. To start off, we had a great time on the ride down there just talking about everything under the sun while little Ella-Bella slept the whole time (WOO-HOO!! No crying!). I always get nervous before stuff like this, you know, when you KNOW someone is there to judge you. Then the questions start in my head, am I really fit to be a mom to an adoptive child? Am I even a good mom now, because I don't feel like it all the time, of course I love my kids greatly, but I am human and make mistakes. Am I going to look like a fool because I don't know more than the legalities of everything? Well, I was thankful that Maria was so nice. She was very informative, of course, this was just an informational meeting about what we're getting into, but none the less, she was very informative, and sweet despite my many interruptions and ramblings. But gosh, this really means its for real, we are doing this, we've written our second big check, which in comparison to the soon to come isn't very big. After everything was over though, I really felt at peace, and I believe Josh did too about what we're getting ourselves into. When we were having a meeting, one of the bigger things Maria spoke about was the attachment/bonding with an adoptive child. I guess I never really thought of the child's perspective, how selfish of me!! I mean I knew it would be an adjustment for the child, but I know I'll love this child, because I love everybody, ok most people, but I didn't realize it could possibly take months for the bonding process!! I am so ignorant sometimes and live in my own little world!! Another thing that wasn't very comforting either, the age range that we picked, toddler, can be the hardest one so they say, but I don't think the Lord will give us anything we can't handle. We might struggle, but I know He will get us through all of it. I am excited, but nervous and trying not to focus much on the things to come until they get here, I know this will be a long wait. I just pray for direction and peace in the hard months, possible years to come, oh and for the magic dollar tree to start growing in my backyard!!

Zoe's Birthday

Well, my baby turned 7 on Monday, the 27th. What a sad and happy day all rolled into one! How can it be that my Zoe-girl is 7 years old? Why does life seem to go by so quickly the older you get? I've been really thinking about this a lot for the past week or so. I know that 7 isn't very old, but when I think about how fast these last 7 years have gone by, to think she'll be leaving me in about 11 years to go off to college, or to explore the world, that's pretty scary for me. That's why I understand so much more now why we should enjoy every moment, yesterday is gone and all we have is today. Tomorrow is never a given! I love you Zoe!!! I pray many, many, many more birthdays for you!!

Leoboi Orang'utu Kamweka

I recieved some really devasting news today. Our child we sponsor from Tanzania has passed on. He died from malaria last week, July 9th. I am so sad. I don't really have any other words. I know he is in a better place, but the selfish part of me was looking forward to recieving letters from him and pictures, hoping he would have a better life and know that he was loved by his other family on the other side of the world. He was only six years old. He had such a handsome face, I was hoping to get a picture of him with a smile on it, but I am sure he is smiling down from heaven. I miss him, you probably wonder how I can miss someone I've never met, but I do. I've been praying for him and loving him and his family since we saw his face, just a few short months ago. I knew he was the child I wanted to sponsor and Josh agreed as well. I just pray he knew we loved him. Maybe this was meant to be motivation to take more action for this dying world. Leoboi, you will forever be in my heart. I love you, I'm so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye, but you will not be forgotten.

A Great Poem I Found

I found this poem a couple of weeks ago and wanted to post, the actual author is unknown.

I want you to face the mountain
so that you can see,
when the mountain is out of the way
all there is left is Me.
Only I can move the mountain,
only I can push it away,
only I can conquer the problems
that you face today.
Your only job is to believe, to listen
to My voice,
and when you hear what I command,
obedience is your choice.
But I will not make it too difficult for the victory
is already Mine,
and I will fill you with My Spirit and through
you My grace will shine.
Not when you are perfect,
like you think you need to be,
but when your heart is willing to become more
and more like Me.
(New Day, New You, Meyer 2007)

Now its been so long since I've had to make a book reference I've probably done it wrong, but this was from my daily devotional. I thought the poem made so much sense, simple, but sincere. I mean, we're never going to be perfect, we can try all we want, but its never going to happen, because of what's happened already. I just thought this was great, because that's what I want for my life, is to have a heart like Jesus. And its a reminder that as long as I follow that path, the Lord will take care of the rest.

Airport and People

Ella and I went to the airport today to pick up Josh's best friend, Steve. Josh would've done it himself, but he was told late this afternoon that he had to report back to work at 2:00am this morning. I used to love going to the airport, I love watching people, there's so many emotions and cultures. I remember when we used to be able to watch the flights come and go right next to the planes. I miss that. But what's so interesting to me is just watching the huge range of emotions that people go through when they go to the airport. You see people crying when loved ones are leaving, people crying because their loved ones are back home. Its really a beautiful mix. But something that broke my heart while I was there was watching a serviceman getting ready to leave. Now I have no idea where he was going, but it really put things in perspective to me. I mean, these men and women protect US, all of us. Why shouldn't they get the credit and respect that they deserve?!! I hate when the media, or politicians speak poorly about descisions made by the politicians themselves. These people are the ones who pay the price for others actions. They deserve to be honored and given whatever they need as well as their families. I can't imagine what a military wife or mom, or dad for that matter goes through when their loved ones are leaving and their children, how hard it must be for them to understand that mommy or daddy is leaving for so long. It makes me more thankful for them for the sacrifices they make everyday for our country. I love you military people and THANK YOU for serving our country!!!

Starting out on this blogging thing...

Well, we just got back from a good weekend at Rough River with the Josh's uncles and their families. I also got to meet some old friends of theirs. Being at the lake was really a great experience, in case you didn't know, my husband is an introvert. He is seriously the most wonderful man you could ever meet, but he is just shy and likes to keep to himself. But he came out of his shell and played volleyball, basketball and went out with everyone to watch the fireworks!! It was awesome! Finally felt some real family bonding time this weekend. Zoe got to know Josh's cousin, Mason, who is the same age as her, they had great fun and played so well together. Ella just LOVES to be outside, so she had a blast. The fact that my parents let us use their RV was a blessing, it's like a tour bus or something. I felt so comfortable and just enjoyed family time together. Wish it wouldn't have ended so soon, but looking forward to next year since he's already booked us a spot again!!