Our First Homestudy Meeting

Well over the weekend, Josh, Ella and myself ventured to Owensboro to have our first homestudy meeting with our really nice lady, Maria. To start off, we had a great time on the ride down there just talking about everything under the sun while little Ella-Bella slept the whole time (WOO-HOO!! No crying!). I always get nervous before stuff like this, you know, when you KNOW someone is there to judge you. Then the questions start in my head, am I really fit to be a mom to an adoptive child? Am I even a good mom now, because I don't feel like it all the time, of course I love my kids greatly, but I am human and make mistakes. Am I going to look like a fool because I don't know more than the legalities of everything? Well, I was thankful that Maria was so nice. She was very informative, of course, this was just an informational meeting about what we're getting into, but none the less, she was very informative, and sweet despite my many interruptions and ramblings. But gosh, this really means its for real, we are doing this, we've written our second big check, which in comparison to the soon to come isn't very big. After everything was over though, I really felt at peace, and I believe Josh did too about what we're getting ourselves into. When we were having a meeting, one of the bigger things Maria spoke about was the attachment/bonding with an adoptive child. I guess I never really thought of the child's perspective, how selfish of me!! I mean I knew it would be an adjustment for the child, but I know I'll love this child, because I love everybody, ok most people, but I didn't realize it could possibly take months for the bonding process!! I am so ignorant sometimes and live in my own little world!! Another thing that wasn't very comforting either, the age range that we picked, toddler, can be the hardest one so they say, but I don't think the Lord will give us anything we can't handle. We might struggle, but I know He will get us through all of it. I am excited, but nervous and trying not to focus much on the things to come until they get here, I know this will be a long wait. I just pray for direction and peace in the hard months, possible years to come, oh and for the magic dollar tree to start growing in my backyard!!